The Tree of Self-Love

Releasing False Beliefs & Rooting In Worth

The Tree of Self-Love: Returning to Your Worth

There was a time when I thought self-love was just about bubble baths, affirmations, and treating myself kindly on the surface. But self-love is so much deeper than that—it’s about unraveling the false beliefs, rewriting the narratives, and remembering who we really are, before the world changed us.

Each of us is like a tree, planted in the soil of our experiences. For years, I tended to a garden of contradictions—one where beauty and strength coexisted with tangled, suffocating vines of self-doubt. My childhood, past relationships, and societal conditioning all planted seeds, some of which blossomed into vibrant flowers of self-belief and resilience, while others grew into vines of self-abandonment, guilt, and shame.

I carried these vines with me for years, believing they were a part of me. I still carry some of them or deeper layers of ones that I’ve pulled a few layers off of. Healing isn’t a linear journey. I wrote about breaking free from the illusion of 'not enough' last week, a false belief I’ve been experiencing massive shifts around over the past nine months. But recently, I reached a huge turning point. I stood face to face with what felt like the final threads binding me to the false belief that told me I was too much, too sensitive, unworthy of the love I so freely gave to others. Letting go of this final thread felt terrifying, as if I was stepping into a version of myself I had never fully allowed to exist. But deep down, I knew it was time.

The Patterns That Needed to Break

When I first arrived in Cape Town, I had fallen into my old patterning. Feeling off-center, disconnected from myself, and still wounded by the knife-like words of my mother, I sought a familiar escape—dating apps. I have cycled through this pattern many times before, seeking a quick hit of connection to simulate a sense of being lovable.

It stopped working years ago. Truthfully, it never really worked. I just used to be much better at lying to myself.

I met two men, and both interactions left me feeling worse. Standing in my worth by telling them both off, I was still left to examine why I attracted them in the first place. It didn’t take much self-reflection—I had been seeking love from outside of myself, the very love that could only be nurtured from within. And just like that, I deleted the apps. I lay in the stillness of the night, gently caressing my own hand, praying to be centered in my truth again, to be connected to God in unconditional love. Like a magic spell, I felt the return immediately.

I believe it happened so quickly because of the deep self-love work I’ve already done, and because of my journey back to Jesus—not as my “savior,” but as I’ve come to know him, as a great teacher guiding me back to my heart—I was able to see the pattern for what it was. Christ Consciousness reconnected me to love, unity, and divine wisdom, allowing me to embody the highest expression of compassion, forgiveness, and truth for myself so that I can offer the same to others. I know this will trigger some people, but the difference has been so potent, that I want to share a little more.

Before shedding Christian dogma, I still held a lot of anger toward God—the version of God I had been raised with, one who was judgmental, condemning, a force to be feared. It kept me trapped in a self-defeating cycle of shame and guilt. But the truth is so simple, and it is the key I have always been searching for. Embody love. It unlocks the shackles of shame, blame, guilt, depression, anxiety, self-criticism, overindulgence, addiction, emptiness, and so much more. Without that weight, the light of truth filled my soul, reminding me that I am unconditionally loved, no matter what I do or don’t do.

I am worthy of love simply because I exist.

I am enough and will always be enough.

There is nothing to fix. I am already whole.

With this truth in my heart, my world changed immediately. I saw it reflected in small interactions—the cashier at the grocery store, the man walking on the street, the stranger in the car next to me. When you love yourself, it radiates outward and mirrors back to you in every interaction, if you keep your heart open enough to receive it.

Another Layer of Letting Go

Then came my next opportunity to deepen my self-love.

God does test us, but not in the way we often believe—not to watch us fail, not to condemn us for our mistakes, but to allow us to burn away the last fibers tying us to lies so we can be truly free.

For me, my tether had always been a complicated one. A belief that I was only worthy of love if I was sick. But years of chronic illness transformed into a new fear—that if I was unwell, I was a burden and could never be truly loved.

Shortly after my shift, I met an incredible man. We were getting to know each other slowly. I felt respected, seen, and genuinely understood. Then, in the late evening hours, spending time curled up in his arms, sickness struck me like a lightning bolt. Writhing and moaning in pain, I felt the weight of my old guilt resurface—the fear of being too much, too difficult, unworthy of love.

There it was, the old story.

I lay in his bed the next morning, crying tears of gratitude for the gentle care he was giving me, and equally crying from the fear that I did not deserve it. But as I shared my fears with him, he listened with such compassion and understanding. He reassured me that he wanted to be there for me. What he really did was begin to chip away at the fear that I was not deserving of unconditional care.

And in that moment, I let go.

I allowed myself to fully receive love, feeling the remnants of the lie that I was only worthy of love if I showed up in a certain way melt away. And just like that, with an angel sent from God, I became fully free to love all of me. I’m sure I’ll be writing about another iteration of this in the future, as I said before, it’s a part of the human experience, but this release was one of the most beautiful ones I’ve experienced to date.

A Journey Back to You

So, if you feel lost in yourself—if you’ve been caught in cycles of self-doubt, love addiction, toxic relationships, people-pleasing, or feeling like you’ve never truly known what it means to love yourself—you are not alone. And you are not broken.

Self-love is not about becoming someone new; it’s about returning to the truth of who you have always been. The one who was always worthy. The one who was always enough.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me in The Tree of Self-Love: A 2-Week Journey—a space to reconnect, release, and plant new seeds of self-worth. Because you deserve to thrive. Your tree deserves to flourish.

🌿 Vines can be ripped away.
🌸 New flowers can be planted.
🌳 Your tree can be strong, thriving, and full of life again.

❤️ Join me in this journey back to yourself. You are not alone

Love Always,

Becca